Episode 130: Creating a Workplace Where People Want to Be

Creating a Workplace Where People Want to Be

Shane Jacob drove nearly 800 miles to attend his 40th high school reunion after skipping every reunion before it.

Why did he finally go?

He says he was finally okay enough with himself to show up.

That experience got Shane thinking about something every leader should think about: What are you creating for the people who work with you?

What Makes People Want to Stay at Work?

People come to work for a paycheck. But a paycheck is not the only reason people stay. People also need connection, belonging, importance, and significance.

When those needs are met, people are more likely to stay, trust their leaders, try harder, contribute more, and care about the work.

Shane explains how leaders create that kind of workplace through simple things like listening, honoring people's perspectives, and treating people as equally valuable even when they do not have equal responsibility or authority.

Why Listening Matters in the Workplace

Listening does not mean agreeing.

You can disagree with someone and still give them the respect of hearing them out.

When people feel heard and understood, it can strengthen trust and respect. When leaders constantly cut people off, dismiss their perspective, or rush to give the answer, they can create mistrust and make people feel unimportant.

That has a cost.

Judge the Work. Protect the Person.

The Worth-Work System gives leaders a simple way to think about accountability:

Judge the Work. Protect the Person.

The work can be judged. Standards can stay high. Accountability still matters.

But a person's value does not change because of what they did or did not do.

If you are responsible for people, the question is simple:

Are you creating a workplace where people want to be?

If your team feels like a place people tolerate rather than a place they want to be, this episode gives you a place to start.

Episode 130 Full Transcript: Creating a Workplace Where People Want to Be

Transcript Introduction:

This is the full transcript of Episode 130 of the How People Work Podcast with Shane Jacob. Shane shares what his 40th class reunion showed him about why people do what they do, and what leaders can do at work to create a workplace where people want to be. Read along or watch to the episode.

Welcome to the How People Work Podcast

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this episode of the How People Work podcast. My name is Shane Jacob, and I thank you for taking your time to be right here with me today. If you want to know more about how people work, if you want to know more about how you work, and if you want to know more about how to get people to do what you want them to do in the workplace, how to have some cohesiveness, some harmony, a little bit of peace instead of a lot of contention, or maybe a little bit more peace and a little bit less contention at least. If you endeavor for excellence, hey man, you're at the right spot. Or man or lady. Excuse me.

The Pleasant Grove High School Viking Shirt

Yeah, so sporting today. If you're watching and not just listening, I hope you are checking this out on video. Today, sporting, if you can see me here on the big screen, a new cowboy cuff shirt, white, Royal blue snaps, royal blue cuffs. Got my custom MNS. That's Melissa and Shane, our custom horse brand cufflinks, call that silver or something.

Anyway, blue thread. I mean, I'm looking pretty sharp. I call this shirt the Viking. Now, not just any old Viking, okay? The Pleasant Grove, Utah Vikings, after the Pleasant Grove High School Vikings. Why? You ask. I'll tell you why I'm giving you all this information. Because last week, a week ago, I was in Pleasant Grove, Utah in this shirt I had made for my trip to Pleasant Grove, Utah, to go to my 40th year class reunion.

Going to My 40th High School Class Reunion

I can't even believe that. I mean it's just so hard to comprehend. I mean, can you even imagine that? It just it's hard to grasp. I mean I hear myself saying it, but it's like 40 years? It just it doesn't seem like it was that long ago, you know.

I have such, maybe not a lot. I probably drank away a lot of the memory, but or burned up the brain cells that were holding the memory by drinking too much alcohol. But I still have a few very clear memories, you know, and, and a lot of the people I saw there, I don't know, may, I'm gonna guess that there was a hundred people. I think we had a, our graduating class, I think was about 280 kids. And so nearly a third of them or so, or maybe more, but around a third of the people were there.

I don't know if that includes the spouses. I don't know. Something in that neighborhood, but you know, a lot of the people I recognized, and then a lot. The others, when somebody told me who it was, I could see they looked familiar, but then I just, I couldn't place them. Thank God we were wearing name tags.

Why I Never Went to a Class Reunion Before

So a couple things about that. I'd never been to a high school class reunion, or been to any class reunion. And there had been class reunions for my class of 1986, but I'd never been to any. And why, why, my friends, would you think that I hadn't been to any of the other class reunions? I mean, I can tell you a lot of words of why, but why do you really think it is? I mean, why do you think that would be?

And so I thought about why I didn't go. And I caught myself in the past saying things like, well, I gotta do something about this squeaking chair. I don't know if you can hear that or not. I, I caught myself in the past saying, well, I don't have any need or desire to go because everyone who I went to high school with that I want to keep in touch with, I'm already keeping in touch with. So therefore, why would I go to this class reunion to see all these people that I don't want to get that I don't have a desire to see?

Now I thought about that, and I mean, I'm not saying that that doesn't have any truth in it, but then my next question is why was I keeping in touch with some people and not others? And then I heard people say, well, just come and have some laughs and this and that and the other, and you know, it'll be a good time. Just, just plain old entertainment, you know, you can do it just for entertainment.

The Honest Reason I Finally Showed Up

You know what I really concluded? Here's what I really concluded. If I'm gonna be honest, and I'm gonna be honest, because I'm going for honesty in my life and in the world. The reason that I went to my 40th and none of the others is because I was, I was okay enough with myself to show up. And that's the damn truth. It didn't have to do with any of that other horseshit.

Why Drive 800 Miles to See People You Haven't Seen in 40 Years?

And, and so then I asked myself another question: why? Here's what I asked myself: why in the hell are you driving a round trip around 800 hundred miles, 300 and almost 400 miles each way, and taking three days to go to a couple hour event with some people that you haven't seen, almost all of them, for 40 years? 40 years. I mean, 40 years. Every time I say it, it's like, wow.

So I asked myself, what the hell am I doing? You know, and I really thought about this. I had plenty of time to think about it as I was driving home after this reunion, which by the way, it was awesome. I'm so glad I got to see the people and reconnect with so many people, and I hope to get to be able to reconnect with more of them again.

And here's why. The reason is why is, is that I asked why would I do the drive? And the reason is, is, is the basic fundamental human needs. And I looked around at the people, I'm like, wow, you came from here, you came from there, and we all came together over these hundred people to go to this reunion, and, and, and why.

Basic Human Emotional Needs: Connection, Belonging, Importance, and Significance

And the reason is, is to, like I said, the basic human fundamental emotional needs, and that is connection, belonging, importance, significance. Hey, we're hardwired for connection, like Brene Brown said. Okay, so there's that. We want, we have a sense of belonging, we have a sense of purpose, like we were that, like the, the class, like you're graduating class that you were a part of something that was greater than yourself, that you were part of something significant, and that the people in the group, that you belonged, that you were important, that they accepted you. You had a sense of acceptance when you went there.

And so I drove eight hundred miles to connect with people that I hadn't even seen or heard of for forty years. And we do stuff like that as human beings, and that's why we do it. And it's important, I think, really to recognize it, and to recognize why we do and don't do things.

Awareness: Your Thinking Drives Your Feelings, Actions, and Results

I'm, it's just part of the awareness that I'm really going for in my life is more and more awareness so that I can be, once I'm aware, I can be more intentional. And that's what I teach, and that's what I think you're gonna wanna to, to do also, is become more and more and more aware of your thinking, which is driving your feelings, which is driving your actions, which by, well, that gives you the results of your lifetime.

What the Class Reunion Means for the Workplace

So I also thought on the way home, here's where all this is leading. Now, my story about the class reunion, is that what meaning does this have in the workplace of why people work? So it's important to note that we do things like drive 800 miles to connect with people that we haven't seen for 40 years. And we spend time and we spend money. Why? Because we're seeking to, on most of this is just happening in the background. We're just like, that sounds fun.

I had a great time. It was so good to connect with you. Why? The reason why is because we're reconnect because we're wired for connection. And so we're connecting. We feel a sense of belonging. We feel a sense of significance.

Now, do you think that if people went to these reunions, this one or any other, and they feel outcast and they feel segregated and they feel like they're unaccepted and they feel like shunned, you think they're going back? Of course they're not going back. They're not the ones saying, this is a great time. So hopefully we don't treat people like that. But that's why we do what we do, is because we, they call them needs for a reason, to meet our own emotional needs. And like I said, it's just happening. We, a lot of times we're not even really aware of, of the why. Okay.

Would the People You Lead Want to Reconnect With You in 40 Years?

In this case, I think it's important to be the where of the why because I'm going to relate this to the workplace. Because I was thinking on the way back here during the 400-mile drive, because I drove. We drove, my wife and I. What, what is, what does this mean to the workplace? And I thought, wow.

Have you, just think about this. Look back in your, in all your career, in all your work history, and all the places that you worked, and think, is there any of those places that you'd like to reconnect with people, or maybe you stay connected with some of the people, or some of this and that? And is there anything that you hold in your mind that you, you would like to reconnect with?

Because here's the thing: people, when they go to work every single day, they need from their leaders, from their leaders, whatever position of leadership you're in, even a leadership position in your home. But today primarily we're talking about work because this is the How People Work podcast. How the people that you lead feel about who they're dealing with every day. Do you think that they're going to want to go back in 40 years and reconnect with you? What do you think?

Why a Paycheck Is Not the Only Reason People Come to Work

You know, their paycheck drives them to come to work every day. It, it prompts them and it motivates them, and that's why they come to the work, but it's not the only reason they come to work, and they're not going to come to, keep coming to work just for the paycheck if they're not meeting some of their own, if their emotional needs are not being met. Now, yes, we can meet some of our own emotional needs, but we're social creatures. We're meant to be together.

And there are things that we can do, which are simple basic concepts that we can do as leaders in the workplace to help people feel the emotional, the emotions that they need to feel to be emotionally healthy. And guess what the return is? Well, there's a big return. I mean, it's a giant ass return. I mean, it's, it's, it's enormous. Okay.

The Return on Helping People Feel Connected, Important, and Significant

I don't know how much you care about this in the workplace, but you're creating a relationship that, if you do what I'm suggesting, you're gonna create a relationship that has value, where people feel connected, they feel belonging, they feel important, they feel significant, they feel like they matter.

And when you can help people, now, you can, can't control what people feel or what they do or any of that, but you know what you can do? You can give them every opportunity to do it by what you do. You can sure the hell influence them way more than a lot of times we know or give them credit for, just by what we're doing.

If they feel a sense of belonging, a sense of significance, and a sense of, import of importance when they deal with you day in and day out and week in and wake week, as they go to work every day, they're gonna stay with you longer, they're gonna be more loyal, they're gonna try harder. You're gonna think that they just all of a sudden care more. They're going to be more productive, they're not gonna cheat you, the trust level is gonna be high, and, and the bottom line of your company and your results are gonna be better.

I mean, where's the lose in this? This is a win. I mean, no matter how you slice it. And what do you have to do? I mean, seriously, let's just break this down. What are the takeaways today? Great. How am I gonna make everybody that I lead feel like they want to come and see me in 40 years? It's just an example. I mean, maybe they will and I hope they do, but how about they want to come and see you tomorrow for hell's sakes? I mean, let's just, how about that? So here's the takeaways, okay?

Takeaway One: Listen So People Feel Heard and Understood

Things that we've talked about before, some. But you know, listening is just a thing. Listening is a big thing because people want to feel heard. We all want to feel heard. What does feel heard mean? Like I speak and you hear what I say, you hear my words. Really, we want to be understood. That's what we really, I think we want to be understood. And we want what we say to, to have value or perceive value.

What Happens When a Boss Cuts People Off

So let's just say, here's what happens to me. Let me give you some examples of what I'm talking about. People come up to me that work for me and they start talking to me, and I'm just like, stop. Okay. And I just cut them off sometimes if I'm not paying attention, if I'm not being intentional.

What I can do and what I have done sometimes is I, I can interrupt them, I can stop them, and I can, because I, I know what they're gonna say, right? I think I do, a lot of the time. So I cut them off and I just say, look, here's what da da da, and I just clean it up and I end it and I move on and that's it. Okay, any questions? Okay, good. Moving on. Next thing. And so basically I just, I didn't hear what they had to say. Okay. Now how can they feel understood if I'm interrupting them and talking over the top of them and cutting them off and not letting them finish their sentence?

Honor People's Perspective (Joe Caruso)

One thing that I have mentioned on this podcast before, and you've heard it, is Joe Caruso. The power of, I forgot the name of his book. But Joe Caruso says to honor people's perspective. And I so much agree with this idea, which means that we just take the time, okay? And it doesn't have to be an outlandish, crazy ass amount of time. If somebody's gonna talk to you for nine paragraphs and five chapters, that's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about giving people the courtesy just to hear their idea, just to hear what they had to say, even though, okay, this is the big one, even though if you know it's not applicable, if you're gonna disagree, you don't have to disagree with it. Excuse me, you don't have to agree with it. That's the thing.

You Can Disagree and Still Hear Them Out

See, when I, a lot of times when people are talking to me and I'm like, okay, stop, hold on just a minute. And then I can't, you know, I correct them and I say, this is the way we're gonna do it, and this and this and this and this and this. Any questions? Okay, let's go, move on. See you next time.

What, what's happening in my mind is that I'm already disagree. The moment that I see that they're going off on a trail that I disagree with, and since I'm the boss, I just stop, cut them off, and put them back on my track. And guess how they feel? They feel shitty, they don't feel like they belong, they don't feel important, they don't feel significant. So the point here is, is just to listen, okay, just to hear.

Like I said, you don't have, this doesn't have to be a 20-minute this and that, but we, we take, we give people the courtesy and the respect to hear what they have to say, to, to honor their perspective. And that doesn't mean that we disagree with it. We can disagree with it right there on the spot, but we hear them out. Okay, that's part one. Hear them out. Okay, to the degree, like I said, that's not gonna consume a half a day. Like if somebody just wants to talk all the time, that's not what I'm talking about.

Why Listening Fits an Efficiency Model

I'm talking about if somebody has something to say rather than jumping in, which is really easy for us to do. I mean, I, I'm looking at this like I'm, hey, answer, hey, answer, hey, answer, hey, answer. You got a thing? Yeah, here's the answer. Go. So I'm looking at time, I'm looking at being effective, I'm looking at being productive and efficient. And so listening to all your stuff that I'm gonna disagree with probably, it's not really fitting into my, you know, efficiency model here today.

But however, guess what? Actually it does. Because if I don't listen, you want to talk about inefficiency, you want to talk about mistrust, you want to, people talk about when people don't trust you and because they feel disrespected or they don't feel like they're valued, they don't feel like they're significant or important enough, then you're gonna talk about some serious inefficiency, to say the least, and inefficiencies being nice about it. Okay.

Listening Has a Measurable Outcome You Can Count in Dollars

So really these ideas that I'm talk, talking about, they have a measurable outcome. In other words, you can measure them in dollars. You hearing me? I'm not talking, yeah, you're gonna, I think, I think that good will come to you. I think God will reward you. I mean, I think there's so much of an upside, but hey, in the workplace, you're gonna be more prosperous for, I mean, what's the lose?

Like I said, what's the, what's the, what's the loss? What's the not why not? What do you have to lose? And the answer is nothing. It's all on the plus. Takes a little time, a little bit of teeny time and the effort in the front, on the front end. Okay, but as you make those deposits of appreciation and trust and respect to those people, just by listening to what they have to say and hearing them out and being kind about it, that, that's part one.

Equal Importance Without Equal Responsibility

There's so many other things that we can do to help people. Now, some of these things that, some of the things that I have heard that people suggest, which is, let everybody run a meeting so that everybody seems like they're equal. And so, you know, I don't think that the responsibility level needs to be equal for people to feel equally important. I just, I think that we can help people feel that whatever their role is, that we honor their role. And that we, we look at human beings. I mean, it begins with ourselves.

How You See Yourself Shapes How You See Other People

So let, just let me address that just for a minute. Okay. This idea of how we look at human beings. And by the way, it's a lot easier to hear what they have to say if you look at human beings the way that you look at yourself. And this begins with you. If you have some self-respect and if you have some admiration, if you have some appreciation and some s, acceptance and forgiveness and some damn love for you, did I say that? Some love for yourself. It makes it so easy to look at other people in the same fashion.

Like You Anyway: Judge the Work, Protect the Person

I'm imperfect over here and I still like me. You're imperfect over there and I still like you. And what we say in the workplace at when we judge the work and protect person in The Work Worth System is we like you anyway. It doesn't matter what you do or don't do, we're gonna like you anyway. And that begins with me. I need to like me anyway.

The Real Reason I Skipped the Earlier Class Reunions

See, you know why I didn't go to all the, I think there was a five and a ten and a twenty. I don't know. I didn't go to any of them. But the other class reunions that were held for my graduating class at Pleasant Grove High School, Utah, Pleasant Grove, Utah High School, the Vikings. The real reason that I didn't go is because I hadn't fully accepted me and I didn't want to show up and feel like I was, you know, compared against or measured against.

And you know why? Because of how I was measuring me and how I was comparing me. And it wasn't until the day that I just decided, you know, I've had enough living with all this shame and self-loathing and disgust and all this horse shit. And I just said goodbye to it all. That's a whole nother, that's another day. But, but the reason I didn't go is because of that. Okay.

Accept Yourself No Matter What, Then Accept Others

And so when this right here, what I'm talking about begins with me, if I can practice and if I can form a habit and if I can over time change how much I like, forgive, and accept, and even love myself, I can begin to look at other people no matter what. Okay. I like me no matter what. You hear me? I mean, I've done some stuff. I've done some stuff, but I like me anyway. And you've done some stuff, but you know what? I like you anyway. As a matter of fact, the stuff that you did this week over here, I'm not really happy about, but I like you anyway.

When we can look at people the same way, when we can look at ourselves, it makes it easier to look at other people the same way. Okay. And that just has to do with acceptance. And so when people, regardless of their role, when we treat them with importance, when we give them time, when we listen to what they have to say, when we give them time, it, they respect, is, is a part of respect is in that time, okay? Is in, is, is in allowing them time to be understood. Like I said, whether we agree with them or not. Big thing and also part of the Worth Work System.

See Everyone as Equal Value, Boss or Not

So how we view the people that we work for in comparison to us, do we really see ourselves as equals? Because the way that I see me and the people that work for me, I mean, God doesn't think I'm any more important. Why the hell would I? I mean, there's times that I have. You see what I'm saying? And so, and it doesn't work well.

And the more and more that I can see the rest of all of us, you, me, and everyone on totally equal ground, regardless of your position or role, whether I'm the boss or I'm not the boss. And I've been in plenty of positions where I'm, you know, not the boss, and I'm at the bottom of the, the bottom of the totem pole down there. No matter where you're at, that we see ourselves and everyone with equal value, because that, that thinking process and that belief system, if we have it, it comes through.

People Know How You Really See Them

It comes through. People know. They know. They know in how we treat them in small, subtle ways. They know by a smile. They know by a handshake. They know how by a, a look when we go by. They know by a, a little appreciation. They know about the sincerity of our compliments and the real things that would, when we give them straight up appreciation that means something, that we're not just trying to dream up a compliment so we have a compliment that day that's not really sincere. They know. Okay.

It's like horses, they know. They know what the hell's going on because they can impart, they can feel what's inside of us, they can sense it. And so between our belief system, what we believe about ourselves, which is how we relate with other people. So we need to, this all needs to begin right here with us. It all begins right here with us.

It Begins With Us: Create the Environment Through How We Treat People

Listening is just one skill. We'll go into more. But not today, but there's so many skills, and it all comes down to how, what it begins with us and then how we treat other people. Because if we create the environment by the way that we treat people, okay, so if we treat people in a way that they can choose to feel belonging, to feel significant, we can help them by the way that we, we can influence how they feel by what we do. Okay.

And so if we're doing what we can in those areas with how we think in our belief systems, which comes out, and just by this one thing today, which is taking the time to listen and show the respect for their perspective, honoring their perspective, that'll help them have this, feel like they matter, and feel like they're significant and feel like that. And so, and feel the good things, that the emotional needs that they have. And that will help them want to be there.

Your Worth Is Non-Negotiable

And, and we want them to be there. I mean, I want my team to be here. I want them to be here and I want them to try and I want them to do well and I want them to move up. And if I'm around in 40 years and they are too, I'd want them to come back just to connect and say, hey, that was a great time we had back there.

I have that. You've probably had that too. I have guys that come back and, and, and make little reconnections that have worked here many, many years ago because we've been around in for a long time. And I want that for you and your people. Think it over. My friends, regardless of what you do or don't do, remember one thing. There is nothing that you can do that can change your perfect worth. You hear me? Nothing. Your value is non-negotiable. Stay with me.

Episode 130 Summary:

In this episode, Shane Jacob explores the deep human needs for connection, belonging, and significance, and how understanding these can transform workplace relationships. He shares personal stories, insights on leadership, and practical tips for creating a more engaged and loyal team.

This episode connects leadership behaviors to trust, loyalty, productivity, and better business results through Shane's Worth-Work System: Judge the Work. Protect the Person.