If you’re honest, there’s probably something in your life right now that feels stuck. Maybe it’s money. Maybe it’s addiction. Maybe it’s your weight, your marriage, your parenting, or the quiet sense that you should be further along than you are. People don’t come to me because they’re curious. They come because something hurts. And underneath every version of “I feel stuck” is the same problem, a gap.

Confidence is magnetic. We are drawn to it instinctively. We want confident leaders. We want confident partners. We want to feel confident ourselves. Most people believe confidence is something you either have or don’t, or something you achieve and then carry with you indefinitely. But that assumption quietly limits growth and keeps people stuck far longer than they realize. The truth is this: confidence and self-confidence are not the same thing, and understanding the difference changes how you move forward in your life.

“Fully accepting ourselves and unconditionally loving ourselves is not a good idea. It is our duty. Without a commitment to pursue this ideal, we cannot develop the capacity to love the people we care about or make the contribution we were meant to make. If we ignore this, we limit ourselves and everyone we influence.” – Shane Jacob

Most of us grew up hearing, “It’s just a joke” or “Take a joke.” Maybe we even thought it was harmless, playful, or a way to bond. I believed it too. Until I started paying attention. Here’s the truth: teasing is criticism disguised as humor. It’s anger without ownership. And it always comes at a cost.

We all have a past. Some of us have things we are proud of, some we are ashamed of, and most of us have moments that shaped us in ways we did not choose. Here’s the truth: your past is not something that happens to you today. The only power it has over your present and future is the power you give it through your thoughts. I have lived a past most people would call broken. I have been in prison, struggled with alcohol, faced failed marriages, and carried shame that felt impossible to shake. I used to think all of that meant I was branded for life. That it would always limit me. But I was wrong. I changed my past. You can too.

Most people think vanity is bad. They think it means arrogance or thinking you are better than everyone else. I disagree. Admiring your own achievements and appearance is not bad. Pride is feeling good about what you have done. Being proud is valuing yourself.Society confuses self-acceptance with superiority. You only become arrogant if you put others down. Admiring yourself does not do that. It gives you the foundation to grow, contribute, and love more fully.