Solving Overwhelm: How to Break Free and Take Control

Why Parents Feel Overwhelmed

Feeling overwhelmed is common for parents of teens. There’s always too much to do—earning a living, running a household, caring for kids, maintaining relationships, and everything in between. It can feel like life is too much.

My clients describe overwhelm in different ways:

• Feeling stuck or frozen
• Not knowing what to do
• Having too much to do and not enough time
• Being frustrated, bogged down, or consumed by tasks

If you ask people why they feel overwhelmed, they usually say things like:

• Too many choices
• Too many problems
• Too much uncertainty
• Not knowing what to do next

In short, indecision leads to overwhelm.

The Truth About Overwhelm

Most people think their to-do list or life’s problems cause overwhelm. But that’s not true. Overwhelm isn’t caused by external things—it’s caused by the thoughts we choose to think about those things.

As miserable as overwhelm sounds, people often choose it because it feels safer than the alternative. Here’s why:

1. Fear of Making the Wrong Decision

When we see decisions as "right" or "wrong," we fear making the wrong choice. If we get it wrong, we feel like something is wrong with us.

2. Fear of Failure

We avoid decisions because we’re afraid to fail. We worry about how we’ll feel or how others will see us if we fail.

3. Lack of Confidence

When we doubt ourselves, it’s easier to stay stuck than risk making a mistake. Indecision feels safer.

4. Procrastination

Sometimes we avoid decisions just because putting them off feels easier. Then we distract ourselves by buffering—escaping uncomfortable feelings with bad habits.

The Harmful Effects of Overwhelm

Spending time in overwhelm is not harmless. It’s harmful and, at best, disappointing. When we stay stuck:

• We make no progress toward our goals
• We don’t build confidence
• We avoid courage
• We don’t face our fears
• We feed our indecisiveness
• We lash out at others
• We communicate with confusion
• We turn to bad habits, such as:
  
  • Overdrinking
  • Overeating
  • Overspending
  • Overworking
  • Overusing social media
  • Overwatching Netflix
• We don't improve or live our best lives

We all feel overwhelm at times, but the key to better results for ourselves, our children, and those we love is to eliminate it as quickly as possible.

How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed

1. Recognize It’s a Choice

Overwhelm doesn’t come from our to-do list—it comes from our thoughts. The sooner we recognize this, the sooner we can change it.

2. Build Self-Confidence

The more willing we are to experience fear and failure, the easier decision-making becomes. The less we worry about what others think, the better we feel.

3. Stop Wasting Time on Frustration

Feeling frustrated and acting out doesn’t help. It only wastes time and energy.

4. Practice Making Decisions Quickly

Making quick decisions—right or wrong—propels us forward. Whether we succeed or fail, we’re fully living when we refuse to indulge in overwhelm.

Take Control Today

The bottom line? Being willing (not necessarily capable) to make decisions is what moves us forward. Capability isn’t the problem—willingness is.

For help with overwhelm and all parenting challenges, learn more about Stable Living Coaching, where I coach teens and parents on how to thrive!